Sonic 1 and 2 getting the Sonic CD treatment by Taxman and Stealth

Spoiler

Remember when I said this?

Spoiler

 

#SlightlyInTheKnow

 

To make a long story short, what most of us know are things that are safe for us to know even under the guidelines of the NDA.

 

Spoiler

BEST IN THE WORLD.

 

Spoiler

Corneliab, while you lay there, hopefully as uncomfortable as you possibly can be, I want you to listen to me. I want you to digest this, because before I leave in three weeks with your Hidden Palace Zone Championship, I have a lot of things I wanna get off my chest.

I don't hate you, Corneliab. I don't even dislike you. I do like you. I like you a hell of a lot more than I like most members in the lounge. I hate… this idea… that you're the best… because you're not. I'm the best. I'm the best in the world. There's one thing you're better at than I am, and that's kissing Scarred Sun's ass. You're as good at kissing SS’ ass as Simon Wai was. I don't know if you're as good as Gene… he's a pretty good ass-kisser… always was and still is. Oops… I'm breaking the fourth wall. I am the best poster in the world. I've been the best ever since day one when I signed up for these forums, and I've been vilified and hated since that day because Slingerland saw something in me that nobody else wanted to admit. That's right, I'm a Slingerland guy. You know who else was a Slingerland guy? Chimpo. And he split, just like I'm splittin', but the biggest difference between me and Chimpo is that I'm going to leave with the HPZ Championship.

I've grabbed so many of Sonic T. Hedgehog's imaginary gold rings that it's finally dawned on me that they're just that. They're completely imaginary. The only thing that's real is me, and the fact that day in and day out, for almost five years, I've proved to everybody on the site that I am the best on this forum, in that wiki, and even on the front page! Nobody can touch me! And yet, no matter how many times I prove it, I'm not in your lovely little fan game events, I'm not on the banner of the website, I'm barely promoted, I don't get to be in features, I'm not on any crappy stream on the Twitch TV Network, I'm not on the poster of Sonic Boom, I'm not in the Easter Egg that's produced on the top of the page. I'm not on the Sonic Show, I'm not on Sonic News Network, but the fact of the matter is I should be. And trust me, this isn't sour grapes, but the fact that “Fujimori” is in the main event of Sonic Boom next year and I'm not makes me sick!

Oh hey, let me get something straight, those of you who are cheering me right now… you are just as big a part of me leaving as anyone else, because you're the ones prepping for of those fan game events right now, you're the ones that buy those Taxman ports that my name isn't in the credits of, and then at five in the morning on my Twitter, you try to shove it in my face thinking you can get an inside scoop and sell it to TSSZ because you're too lazy to get a real job.

I'm leaving with the HPZ championship on Sonic 2sday… and hell, who knows, maybe I'll go defend it in the Sonic Stadium. Maybe I'll go back to HellfireComms… Hey, NTom64, how you doing? The reason I'm leaving is you people, because after I'm gone you're still going to pour posts into these message boards. I'm just a spoke on the wheel — the wheel's gonna keep turning. And I understand that. Sonic Retro's gonna gain bandwith despite itself… it's a #2 that should be a #1… you know why it's not a #1? It's because the staff surrounds themselves with glad-handing nonsensical douchebag yes-men like David the Lurker, who's gonna tell them everything they want to hear… and I'd like to think that maybe this forum will be better after Sonic the Hedgehog is dead, but the fact is it's gonna get taken over by the next idiotic SEGA mascot and their doofus iOS games and the rest of their stupid family of failed ideas.

Let me tell you a personal story about the Sonic Retro Staff. You know we do this whole Shark Week campai-