THE KEN PENDERS CHRONICLES: Geoffrey cucked Sonic t. Penders, 2019

Lara-Su's wall of text backstory in her character profile brought this Onion article to mind.

 

Whoops, that's a typo. I agree! He's at-least a good comedian

And he's probably got like 20 fans? And even they are not sure what to think of him. They like him because he is so bad at what he's doing that it magically becomes good.

I guess he's one of the very stubborn kind of idiot that won't change despite all the truths and facts coming out. Doesn't matter how many times it hits his head, his head is too thick to get through. This man is a very 'special' type of butthead. And that's an insult to other Butt-heads.

Even a little kid would grow out of it. Unfortunately, his wife has to baby sit this idiot. Oh well, more humour value for the community.

Relevant:

 

The fans he does have just happen to like his writing and art, simple as that. I've seen crazier. Remember, Rob Liefeld's awful art was so beloved in the 90s that it practically became an industry standard for a while. And as much as many people may despise the writing of the Twilight series, it's sold incredibly well.

I don't have any problem with someone liking Ken's stuff, myself. Most of his fans I've seen are completely normal, nice people. (The big exception being FuhrerMustang / Roy Mustang / Naugus, who acts like an asshole to people when they say negative things about Ken or positive things about Ian, and says he's preparing to sue Ian for saying Naugus' race is now troll because he or his brother once trolled Ian's forum under the name Naugus. No, I'm not joking.)

The thing is, though, you're right about Ken being completely unwilling to change despite what most people say about his work. He's shown absolutely no indication of wanting to improve his writing or artistic capabilities, and instead makes excuses for every single thing people criticize, or in rare cases, half-hearted changes. (Like when he showed off the cover of TLSC, said it was the final cover, argued against every criticism people gave of it, and then a few days later offhandedly said that it really was never supposed to be the final cover and he'd already planned a few changes.)

 

LOL. This is golden.

 

I'm scared.


Knuckles comes from an inbred line of families apparently, because everyone looks the same!

 

I don't even know what to say about Knuckles' family. It went from Knuckles with fingers to Knuckles heads... eugh. Would echidnas even have glasses to begin with? They sound like they'd be a bit too tribal to get to use that.

Also, Knuckles' father's beard looks like a spike coming straight out of his flesh, instead of an actual beard.

 

you can't honestly tell me they wrote that without intended double meaning.

 

So how long before Anthony Mackie sues for use of his likeness without permission?

Another thing to add to the "list of s**t that doesn't make sense" is that the character is clearly not pleased in the text, yet he's got a great big grin traced over his face.

 

So that was Mackie? For a second I thought that was Mike Tyson.

 

You're all wrong, it's Pierre.



HAH HAH HAAAAH

 

Seems pretty expected. Take existing character, make one change, give name with a hyphen in it and boom, you have your own new original character donut steal.

Fuckin Christ Penders...

 

If there were ten stages to digital painting, I'm barely touching stage four, but Penders wouldn't even be at stage one. The connection between the neck and that awfully flat helm interior mesh is so- I get mad at myself redrawing hands four times over, and he finds this acceptable? The head he shopped in there isn't even the proper angle for that pose, which only makes it look worse.

This isn't remotely entertaining anymore; it's a digitally photo collaged monstrosity with really big brushes and poorly implemented low-res textures. I wouldn't be surprise if he even perspective warped the body to get that foreshortening, instead of doing it himself.

 

He's also taking bloody forever just to get out issue 1.

 

This is true.

God damn Penders release this trainwreck already. I want to read this while playing Sonic 06 and watching the Room. I shall then proceed to fall into an alcohol induced coma.

 

I feel like Ken Penders would have made a killing doing the art for unlicensed NES games.