THE KEN PENDERS CHRONICLES: Geoffrey cucked Sonic t. Penders, 2019

Oh no, now we're not going to be able to discuss Ken Penders anymore

 

On second thought, JoeBro makes a valid point.

 

Hahahahahahaha ok enjoy your right wing cult (oh and your side wants to strip away my rights in the name of "religious liberty" because I'm trans, and many of them would like me dead. Also your sides the one with the white terrorists who plot to overthrow Michigan's elected governor, so ya, a lot of the right is evil, and if you don't think the right thinks the same of the left you're delusional.)

But yes, no politics, I'll be a good girl now

 

ANYWAY,

That was what I was referring to when I mentioned glorifying British colonialism. Ken straight-up writes Pachacamac and the Knuckles tribe as stealing land from the cat tribes, and like with the racist grampa cabal from Angel Island, follows it up with "but that's a good thing, because they were a bunch of savages and deserved it". It makes the implications of that "Cyber Native Americans" thing even worse (do we have a direct source on that by the way? I've only ever seen it mentioned as hearsay).

That said, I'm not sure how much of this is possibly just a repressed baby-eating fetish on Ken's part? He has multiple tweets that mention characters eating their young, including Sonic himself, I guess because he has no idea whether his characters are rodents or humans? I hate anthropomorphic animals in media where it's not clear if their presence is a metaphor for something human, or if it's literally a fantasy where the point is that animals are people. Bojack makes sense, Beastars makes sense, Zootopia is stuck in the halfway-measure bullshit where discrimination is bad but the downtrodden groups literally used to consume the flesh of others. Sonic usually falls in the "animals are people" camp, even when there's humans around or other weird racial politics (why does this exist?), so this sort of thing directed towards sentient creatures is just fucking unsettling and gross. I have no idea why Penders considers it anything but a gigantic fucking mistake on his part.

 

What. The. Fuck.

 

Every time I think he can't get any worse, he... he finds a way. He always finds a way.

 

Spoiler: Meem

"That's all I have to say about that" - Forrest Gump

 

If any other former writer had twitted something like that, I'd assume that either they're trolling, their account was hacked, or they're trying to burn down the franchise after being let go. But coming from Penders, it sounds like something he (and only he) would actually think was a good idea. Dear Lord.

 

I don't view Ken Penders as someone on any rational coordianates on the political spectrum. Just watch The Republic for what he thought would happen to the world under the Freedom of Information Act. Its a brilliant little piece of madness. Seriously. Go watch it if you haven't. I can't wait for the sequel. I hope he can release it.

Edit: Because I can't resist sharing this masterpiece.


And yeah, that is the lady from Blade Runner.

 

You know, I saw this years ago out of curiosity and I seen people post it on multiple forums...but I never realized that was Sean Young.

I wonder how she got involved in the project.

 

Judging by her IMDB page, probably exactly what one would guess: She was having a drought in work at the time and was probably available. This is in 2010 (Yes with those amazing effects.) and she was in only one short production the year before. Just after this she started a run on The Young and the Restless and appears to have had steady work since. Working actress gotta work.

ofc for all I know the story could be more interesting than that. This is just my guess based off the high profile nature of a Ken Penders feature and her IMDB page.

 

After even my carefully sanitized KEN PENDERS SEPTEMBER TWITTER ROUNDUP sparked a political firestorm in this thread, I decided to take a new tact with the KEN PENDERS OCTOBER TWITTER ROUNDUP: I would count all of his tweets, throw out all the political ones, post all the non-political ones, and make a point with how short the KPOTR would be. And then, I actually did it. My count: 33 political tweets... and 30 non-political tweets. A far closer ratio than I ever anticipated, even with at least a few controversial entries in the nonpolitical pile, as you will see. Get ready, folks, this is going to be something special.

----------
#1: October 3, 2020

Ken's tweets usually fall somewhere on a simple spectrum, between noxious and anodyne. What I usually cut for lack of interest are the anodyne ones, as above. But today you're getting all the nonpolitical ones, and not even a taste of the interesting (i.e. political) ones, that I may convey some sense of the Sisyphean task that awaits me every time I do one of these.

-----
#2: October 4, 2020

-----
#3: October 5, 2020

-----
#4: October 5, 2020

-----
#5: October 6, 2020

In responding to a question in the thread chat accompanying this piece, Ken said the following (not counted among the thirty nonpolitical tweets): "It’s being worked on. I’ll announce something when warranted. Keep in mind this is something I’m investing in, so paying work has to be a priority while I work on this." It's so important that in the past two months he seems to have put about five minutes of work into this piece. It really doesn't look like it's changed all that much in all the time he's spent on it.

-----
#6: October 6, 2020

-----
#7: October 7, 2020

-----
#8: October 9, 2020

I know it's boring, but that's the point.

-----
#9: October 10, 2020

-----
#10: October 11, 2020

-----
#11: October 11, 2020

Ken must hate fun and learning since he doesn't actually create or work.

-----
#12: October 12, 2020

-----
#13: October 12, 2020

I think you can make a good argument that this belongs in the political pile in this day and age, but I've overruled that sentiment in favor of being able to toss this piece of red meat to this thread.

-----
#14: October 12, 2020

-----
#15: October 16, 2020

Never forget that the man rendering critical judgment on all walks of life was the man whose career high point was working on a comic book for a cartoon hedgehog, before his failures reduced him to "working" on a comic book centered around the daughter of a side character related to the cartoon hedgehog.

-----
#16: October 16, 2020

See above.

-----
#17: October 20, 2020

Twitter response (October 25, 2020): "Bruh take all the copyright stuff off the Archie comics dude like they can’t even change the characters clothes because you copyrighted it."

-----
#18: October 20, 2020

-----
#19: October 20, 2020

-----
#20: October 22, 2020

"I came to learn but since I knew more than the teachers I was in a position to judge their ignorance."

-----
#21: October 24, 2020

This is what we get because posting Ken's death threats derails the thread.

-----
#22: October 24, 2020

Ken seems really invested in James Bond, doesn't he?

-----
#23: October 27, 2020

Thank goodness, now nothing will hold back the Lara-Su Chronicles!

-----
#24: October 27, 2020

Maybe he means that it was a breakout film in spite of being a tremendous let down, but it comes across like he calls it a great film and a tremendous let down.

-----
#25: October 27, 2020

-----
#26: October 27, 2020

Really boring stuff. BUT THEN...

-----
#27: October 30, 2020

Compared to Ken's usual responses to his tweets (zero comments, zero/one like for his movie "recommendations," maybe a handful or even a dozen of people for the LSC stuff, this one's stats are OFF THE PAGE. Hundreds of them! As I urge you to go see for yourself, this is because things GOT ON LIKE DONKEY KONG!

-----
#28: October 30, 2020

In responding to a statement in the thread chat accompanying this piece ("M30YL was a sequel not by you."), Ken said the following (not counted among the thirty nonpolitical tweets) (October 31, 2020): "Actually that never made any sense other than to let Ian make the concept his own, as the characters were never aged an additional five years from M25YL. Even Ian’s 1st M30YL 2-parter was based on scripts I wrote, which was a point of contention during my legal battle with Archie."

-----
#29: October 30, 2020

-----
#30: October 31, 2020

RIP Sean Connery.

----------
Boring stuff in big chunks, I know, with little to show for it except that, uh, "interesting" title page draft, but that's what happens when you excise Ken's political tweets.

COMING SOON: Some good stuff that's already been posted for November, it's a shame we have to wait, but that's the--

Wait, what!!!!!?????



Oh boy.

COMING SOON: The... Lara-Su Chronicles? And more Donkey Kong. And Ken's vow that Donkey Kong will not stop him. Then more Donkey Kong.

NOT COMING SOON: The Lara-Su Chronicles (let's be honest).

 

Oh wow, you weren't kidding about Donkey Kong.

 

amazing, he still can't draw full body figures.


OH GOD THAT FLOATING ISLAND LOGO

 

I keep meaning to comment on this but could never bring myself to do so (probably cause I don't want to traumatize anyone)... but I can not un-see Knuckles' buttcheek in that recent commission he did. X_X

 

I wasn't going to say anything either, but this. I hate that he selectively adds human anatomy to cartoon animal characters who don't wear clothes, it's so offputting.

 

Seriously that logo looks like he generated it with a crappy AI lol

 

https://twitter.com/semifreqsonic/status/1341465354971848726?s=19

 

Why does he do this? This is disgusting, and beyond my comprehension. Please stop Ken, someone. Also, the Lara Su Chronicles looks disgusting.

OK, seriously tell me why he puts random human anatomy on his Sonic OCs. Bounty on the answer to this question, currently 0 dollars (I'm broke).