THE KEN PENDERS CHRONICLES: Geoffrey cucked Sonic t. Penders, 2019

I'm 99.9% sure that Robo-Robotnik and Scourge/Evil Sonic classify as derivative works that Penders couldn't legitimately obtain the copyrights to. If he did try to use them, Sega could easily slap a cease and desist on his wrist.

Also I'm not sure if this is true, but didn't Penders also try to claim that he owned the rights to Tikal and the echidnas who were introduced in SA1? I wouldn't be surprised if he really did.

 

No, I remember him saying he can't touch them.

 

It's hilarious then that he feels emboldened enough to basically put OVA!Knuckles' hat on one of his characters instead of being too worried about Toei or whatever c&ding based on their iteration of the design.

 

May I offer you the Ken Penders July Twitter Roundup at this trying time?

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07/07/2020

Ken actually posted this about someone else.

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07/11/2020

LOL @ "many."

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07/17/2020

Many comments ensue.

07/18/2020

But like so much else associated with Ken Penders, the potential is quickly exposed as phony, for the comments generally underwhelm. Well, the one at the end was good:

07/17/2020 (Not Ken)

Yeah, why do people think Ken claims to own characters that he actually doesn't???

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07/22/2020

Because your art from back then blows your modern-day product out of the water.

For those who would like to give Ken Penders money in exchange for having his art take up space in your home, you now have a way to make that possible.

Fifty dollars you say.

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07/23/2020

Not really that memorable a quote, but it reminds me of an earlier time in this thread where his booth's lack of attention was a source of much mirth and merriment, so it makes the cut.

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07/27/2020

That addressing takes place in this article, with the relevant passage appearing to be this:

That seems less like addressing the issue and more like a brief statement of fact.

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07/31/2020

"Your payment's on the way!"

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And... that's it folks. The current nature of things has bent Ken's twitter feed more towards deranged political ramblings than ever... so it's not all bad (less work on my end). So, since Ken has once again failed to provide content for us, and in the spirit that seems to be popular on this board right now, what praise do you have for Ken and his history on Sonic? And, if by some chance you have criticism of the same, post that as well!

COMING SOON: Twitter rants by Ken.

NOT COMING SOON: Published work by Ken.

 

Spoiler

You know, I won't be surprised if the reason The Lara-Su Chronicles is taking so long to be produced is that Ken felt the main antagonist needed to be an orange echidna with yellow dreadlocks who constantly uses Twitter, so he rewrote the entire story.

 

Spoiler

Orange Echyd'nya bad.

 

After the foot licking/Hillary Clinton thing it honestly wouldn't surprise me, but I kinda doubt it. He's absolutely the type to talk and write as if there was no corruption in Washington before 2016, but the guy is so attached to his grand narrative about such a specific set of ugly dreadlock monsters that the idea of him actually creating a new main villain is kind of unthinkable. Even if he did, it's more likely that he'd still not be done with TLSC by the time the guy is out of office so he'd have to retool that antagonist to resemble either the NEXT guy (in presentation, not philosophy, because he's a bad writer, you see), or else pull a "both sides" and look foolish for a whole DIFFERENT reason.

Also, it's really hard to not tear into Ken's lukewarm limpdick politics in greater detail here.

 

If he is going to do any more heavy handed political commentary I really hope he does it through another episode of The Republic. That show is a gem.

 

Read a few pages, Glad to see Ken is still bringing joy to millions to this day with his.....rhetoric. seeing I dipped out for a solid year and no progress has been made on the comic, figures.

I usually only hear of him now when he does something spectacularly stupid on my side of twitter.

 

Should someone let Ken know about Sonic Dash?

 

I thought this EXACT thing when I saw the render today hahahahahahahahah

 

Was just looking through earlier pages of this thread to see how far we’ve come.

Looks like we haven’t come far at all, confirming my long-standing suspicions that we live in a failed timeline that has strayed drastically from God’s plan.

 

You know there's another explanation for that, but we shouldn't go there.

 

Given Ken's writing and the type of reputation he's built, it's honestly a little surprising he doesn't act like more of a religious nut. He could be at Empress Theresa levels, instead he's stuck more in the JK Rowling zone (well, the JK Rowling a few years ago zone).

 

Ken Penders made a pilot for a show painting a suburban dystopia in protest of FOIA of all things. Does it need to be elaborated how insane that is? His views aren't to be taken seriously beyond the idea that he has views and isn't afraid to venture far outside the average person's concept of reality.

 

I've got some bad news, everyone. It's time for...

THE KEN PENDERS AUGUST 2020 TWITTER ROUNDUP

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08/03/2020

There's so much going on here it's hard to know where to begin. The pretension of thinking that his poorly-drawn Sonic fan-fiction has cutting edge insight into serious contemporary issues. The insinuation that all this rewriting that circumstances FORCE him to undertake is the real reason why nothing has been released after all these years. The juxtaposition between such statements of "world-building" as the above (civilization in crisis!) with past ones (Echyd'nyas go to the bathroom in front of each other without embarrassment). But I must move on, we're just getting started.

Why yes, it is.

Yeah, but what else is he supposed to do, finish his projects and release them???

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08/08/2020

I'm legitimately flummoxed how exactly to make fun of this tweet because it might be the most ironic thing I've ever read. One of my ideas was to replace "Quentin Tarantino's Trek film" with "Ken Penders' Knuckles comic" (and @StarTrek with @SONIC, of course) and offer that obvious comparison. But then I realized that at least Tarantino can use the real names. He doesn't have to use names that "are easier to pronounce" like the Brag, Clingers, or the Spaceship Exercise. In other words, the more you think about it the worse Ken looks.

Words fail me. But they don't fail the good folk in the comments section:

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08/12/2020

Now you know.

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08/13/2020

I'll give Ken this, he certainly isn't concerned about rushing to meet a deadline.

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08/21/2020

The rest of the month is just Ken and his strong political opinions, so looks like Not Ken gets the last word on this one!

Actually, I will add that he also honors Chadwick Boseman in a series of tweets, including with some movie recommendations. But he kind of comes across as sycophantic and as someone who uses this chance to hop up on the soapbox. Read them and judge for yourselves, if you care.

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COMING SOON:

• Ken's thoughts on President Trump.
• Ken's thoughts on COVID.
• Ken's thoughts on James Bond.
• Further updates on the still-unfinished piece showcased above, including whether or not he will include a particular ear design for Metal Sonic.

NOT COMING SOON:

• The Lara-Su Chronicles.

 

Count Dankula should seriously make an Absolute Mad Lads episode about Ken Penders, or I'm going to make one myself. There is just so much material to work with.

Also Chillbro, I salute you for the pains you go through having to read this man's tweets and transcribe them for our viewing pleasure. You truly are a hero.

 

Thank you, Joebro. As you say, there really is no one like Ken (a living Garth Marenghi, to use a comparison made when this thread was young) so I cannot in good conscience let such a rich comedy goldmine remain untapped.

 

Metal Sonic doesn't have ears and while he sketched the back of Knuckles' head, he forgot to ink it. Whoops.