[ICEknight]

Phugolz, thank you for the hilarious video and topic.

[Kogen]

I decided to watch the whole thing instead of just 10 minutes, so here is my IGN-style review:

• Awful commercial soundtrack made worse by using awful remixes
  
• Music just stops at one random point for around 5 minutes, nice work
  
• Dozens of missing games, very comprehensive
  
• Horrible, mixed video quality; parts just spliced together poorly; the emulator footage was dreadful (mice on screen, video jumping, etc); looks like all the games were played by an autistic child
  
• 32X has games like 'Virtua Racing', 'Virtua Fighter', 'After Burner Complete', and 'Space Harrier'; obviously all great games a Sonic fanturd would not know about
  
• Saturn has better hardware than all of its competition
  
• PS2, XBox, and GC also all suck
  
• 'Knuckles Chaotix' is not even that bad; 'Tails Adventures' is better than most of the games in the series, nice of you to not even document it in a documentary
  
• Static is annoying, so is the colour test screen
  
• Volume goes everywhere, awkward flow at the end
  
• Fully accurate review of 'NiGHTS into Dreams...'

[Metal Man88]

Aesculapius Piranha, on 29 March 2012 - 07:07 AM, said:

Metal Man88, on 28 March 2012 - 09:56 PM, said:

I have a theory. The old games were better not because of there being pixie dust in the 90s that made everything better, but rather that what SEGA did was consumed without a barrage of screaming fans dissecting everything. Doing so removes whatever mystery or magical quantity a game had. As such, the quality did not just go down due to mistakes, but also due to fans.

Fans like to blame fans because one of SEGA's strong points is listening to what fans generally want and putting it in a game. I mean, on paper, Heroes sounds a lot like what fans were asking for. On paper Shadow the Hedgehog was good pandering to the Sonic CulT crowd who wanted their games dark like their coffee. Sonic 06 panders to all the DeviantArt people with a furry fettish who draw lots of fanwank recolors and pretend they own the copyright. I mean, if not for the fans, these games would have been great if SEGA just listened to themselves, right?

Wrong.

Fan pandering can't fix unpolished and buggy games, poor writing, poor presentation, and a general lack of direction, which is something the Sonic series has suffered from ever since it made the jump from the 2D platform. Fans have NOTHING to do with what is wrong with the games. The old games weren't made of pixie dust and sparklies or whatevs. They were just shining gems of the tired platforming genre. They were good GAMES.

Ah. But I never said SEGA was listening to the fans at any point (outside of flawed, non-representative moments where they ignored whatever was said anyway). Instead I said their endless complaining made it impossible to enjoy new games because no matter what the game was, they would find "flaws" in it and then talk with the same sort of highly emphatic, angry tone you have right there.

So actually, you just proved me right. Should I dare imply that all that angry fist shaking at games which were never going to be flawless masterpieces in the first place was unnecessary, people will volunteer to show how useless it is right before everyone else.

You see, this has nothing to do with SEGA but rather trying to simply play the game without a bunch of preconceived notions inserted by a ton of sources beforehand. You know, just like how it was back when the "classic" games were made? Hm, isn't that funny. No "classic" game has been made since the internet became available to everyone. Doesn't that strike you as meaningful?

But, I shall leave you to your bitter anger at the actions of a company which neither really cares nor understands anything because all it wants, like other companies, is to make money. Me... I have other things to do with my time than tilt at windmills.

[Aesculapius Piranha]

Metal Man88, on 29 March 2012 - 03:40 PM, said:

Aesculapius Piranha, on 29 March 2012 - 07:07 AM, said:

Metal Man88, on 28 March 2012 - 09:56 PM, said:

I have a theory. The old games were better not because of there being pixie dust in the 90s that made everything better, but rather that what SEGA did was consumed without a barrage of screaming fans dissecting everything. Doing so removes whatever mystery or magical quantity a game had. As such, the quality did not just go down due to mistakes, but also due to fans.

Fans like to blame fans because one of SEGA's strong points is listening to what fans generally want and putting it in a game. I mean, on paper, Heroes sounds a lot like what fans were asking for. On paper Shadow the Hedgehog was good pandering to the Sonic CulT crowd who wanted their games dark like their coffee. Sonic 06 panders to all the DeviantArt people with a furry fettish who draw lots of fanwank recolors and pretend they own the copyright. I mean, if not for the fans, these games would have been great if SEGA just listened to themselves, right?

Wrong.

Fan pandering can't fix unpolished and buggy games, poor writing, poor presentation, and a general lack of direction, which is something the Sonic series has suffered from ever since it made the jump from the 2D platform. Fans have NOTHING to do with what is wrong with the games. The old games weren't made of pixie dust and sparklies or whatevs. They were just shining gems of the tired platforming genre. They were good GAMES.

Ah. But I never said SEGA was listening to the fans at any point (outside of flawed, non-representative moments where they ignored whatever was said anyway). Instead I said their endless complaining made it impossible to enjoy new games because no matter what the game was, they would find "flaws" in it and then talk with the same sort of highly emphatic, angry tone you have right there.

The fallacy here is that you use the word "find" as though you have to look for the flaws. The flaws in the Sonic games find you. Amazingly enough, Sonic Team is not the only fanbase who has die hard fans who dissect things, and yet somehow other developers manage.

Quote

So actually, you just proved me right. Should I dare imply that all that angry fist shaking at games which were never going to be flawless masterpieces in the first place was unnecessary, people will volunteer to show how useless it is right before everyone else.

k

Quote

You see, this has nothing to do with SEGA but rather trying to simply play the game without a bunch of preconceived notions inserted by a ton of sources beforehand. You know, just like how it was back when the "classic" games were made? Hm, isn't that funny. No "classic" game has been made since the internet became available to everyone. Doesn't that strike you as meaningful?

Corelation does not mean causation. I find it infinitely more likely that Sonic Team has been pumipng out shitty games because they failed to adapt the the changing landscape of the gaming industry with the jump from a 2D standard to 3D standard.

Quote

But, I shall leave you to your bitter anger at the actions of a company which neither really cares nor understands anything because all it wants, like other companies, is to make money. Me... I have other things to do with my time than tilt at windmills.

Good for you. Keep on with that "blaming the victim" mentallity. I'm sure she was asking for it because she was wearing that ribbon in her hair.

[Kogen]

Better put a frikken laser beam device on that shark's head if it is going to be fighting a robot.

[Aesculapius Piranha]

I'd still be fucked if he changes his avitar to Batman.

[OKei]

I like how intentionally facetious Pachuka's review was and how everyone's critical on it.

> retro

[Volpino]

Aesculapius Piranha, on 29 March 2012 - 07:07 AM, said:

Sonic 06 panders to all the DeviantArt people with a furry fettish-

I feel like I should bring up something I was talking about last night to someone. Why is it that people think Sonic '06, SatAM, the comics, Adventure, and all the serious shit is catering to furry fetishes when AoStH was way more fetish fuel than all of those combined?

I'm not even joking, I watched the entirety of AoStH when I was 15, and I thought it sucked after episode 3, but I continued to watch it because of all the BDSM and other weird fetishes I could get off on out of it. And being a furry with a lot of weird fetishes, I think I would be a proper authority on this respect. '06 and everything else is incredibly dry compared to that.

You people don't spend enough time around furries.

OKei, on 29 March 2012 - 06:29 PM, said:

I like how intentionally facetious Pachuka's review was and how everyone's critical on it.

> retro

That's who he is? Well that explains a lot.

This post has been edited by Volpino: 29 March 2012 - 08:02 PM

[Kogen]

No one complained when Robotnik wanted to marry an underage catgirl in the OVA, or when the same catgirl (mostly human) wanted to do Sonic, or when Tails molested her in a rape-scenario, or when Metal Sonic shoved his head up her skirt for a gander.

Actually was the OVA even covered in the video?

Probaby not, I do not remember it. Pachuka just secretly wanks to Sally the Acorn and Roog the Bat.